Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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