i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
