remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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