Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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