she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
