Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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