I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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