I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The air was thick with penises
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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