Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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