We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
