Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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