god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
