Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
