My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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