Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think your dad took our porno
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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