i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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