this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
