sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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