how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
