I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
