didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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