I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You are the jesus of drinking
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
