So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize