She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
