she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
