Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize