Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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