Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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