Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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