Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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