have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
