Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
