Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
