This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.