I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
