I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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