i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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