Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
