So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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