Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
