quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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