just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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