i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
