i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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