kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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