I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
