My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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