Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
