I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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