I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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