Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
