I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
