And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
