I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
