she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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