the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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