at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
