come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
