Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
