Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
