I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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